I Still Believe
by The-Girl-Marauder
Summary: Post HBP Harry has to deal with everythingthe horcruxes, Voldemortand Ginny. As Harry is battling the dark world, he is also battling with himself and what he should do about Ginny. This story is about Harry realizing that true love comes only once in a l
1. Chapter 1

Harry's head hurt as he sat up in his bed at the Dursley's. He had not slept well in weeks. There had been too much to think about and there was too much going on.

The floor in Harry's room was so completely covered with papers that the hardwood floor was no longer visible. Written on every paper on the floor was detailed plans and things that needed to be done in order to defeat Voldemort. Harry had also managed to scribble down some thoughts and ideas that he thought needed to be heard.

Looking at the alarm clock positioned on the nightstand next to his bed, Harry realized that it was way too early for him to be getting up—3:21.

As Harry glanced at his alarm clock, the picture on his nightstand caught his eye. In the picture Ron, Hermione, and Ginny were all waving and blowing kisses at Harry. They had sent it to him 4 days after they all got home from Hogwarts.

Harry still could not believe that Dumbledore was dead. Every time the thought came to his mind, Harry always tried to think of something else. But then his mind would normally shift to Ginny and he'd rather think about Dumbledore than ponder his feelings on Ginny again. _Why does everything have to be so complicated?_ Harry thought as he tried hard to fall back asleep.

After a good 20 minutes Harry drifted back into a deep sleep where he dreamt that he found the four other horcruxes. Harry awoke at 8:00 that morning to reality—the Dursley's screaming for him.

"HARRY GET DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW. THERE IS ANOTHER OWL IN THE KITCHEN!" Uncle Vernon yelled from the kitchen as he pounded a broomstick into the ceiling which was the floor of Harry's room.

Harry let out a large yawn as he managed to get himself out of bed and grab a bathrobe. He wondered who the owl was from, although he hoped it was Ron, Hermione or someone from the Order.

Harry walked into the kitchen to find a purple-faced Vernon and a frightened Petunia. Both gave Harry looks of disgust as he walked over to the owl he immediately recognized and untied the letter attached to his foot. The owl took off as soon as Harry had taken the letter.

Harry did his best not to acknowledge the presence of his aunt and uncle as he unrolled the letter and began to read.

_Dear Harry,_

_I hope that everything is going well with your aunt and uncle. Well mum made me write a letter to you to make sure that you are doing okay, although I already know how you are. Hermione and Ginny both say hello also. It has been absolute madness here the last week or so with all the preparations for Bill and Fleur's wedding taking place. We are all really excited to see you. Only 4 more days until Fred and George will pick you up! So just respond with a quick hello so that I can show mum you're still alive._

_Best Wishes,_

_ Ron_

Harry rolled the letter back up as the smile on his face began to fade. He turned to leave the kitchen but before he took another step Uncle Vernon stopped him.

"When will you be leaving?" He asked as if it couldn't be soon enough.

"Four days," Harry replied and turned to leave again.

"Wait—Harry?" Aunt Petunia said. Harry turned, stunned that she had spoken so politely to him. Apparently Uncle Vernon was too.

"Yeah?"

"Didn't—didn't Dumble—Dumbledore say you had to stay here until your birthday?" She asked as she looked at the floor. Uncle Vernon was now giving her a look of disgust.

"Well, that was before he died. And I'm gonna be at the Weasley's. I'll be safe there," Harry was surprised that she actually cared.

"He died?" She asked. Her voice sounded a little shaky.

"Yeah, he did. And I was lucky enough to witness it," Harry said in a sarcastic yet monotone voice as he left the room. There was no way he was going to sit there and talk about Dumbledore's death with Aunt Petunia. Why did she care anyways?

When Harry was finally safely back in his room, he sat down and wrote a letter back to Ron. It was short—only a few sentences that said he was happy to see them and that he was doing fine.

The next few days went by slowly as Harry put all his effort into listing every possible thing that could be a horcrux. His list was so long and explicit that Harry wished he could give up right then and there. But he knew he couldn't.

It finally came the day that Fred and George would be stopping by to pick Harry up. They had told him that they would be arriving at around 1:00 in the afternoon, so at about 12 Harry began to gather all his things together. There was no time to organize all the papers on the floor, so he simply put them all in a large pile and placed them near the top of his trunk.

At 1:03 to be exact, Harry heard a knock on the front door. He raced down the steps so that he could beat one of the Dursley's there, threw open the door, and hugged the two Weasley's standing before him.

"Hiya, Harry! How are you doing?" Fred asked.

"Okay," Harry replied. "Let me go grab my trunk."

Harry ran up to his room and began to drag the trunk into the hallway. George was there and he took the trunk with a quick sweep of his wand and brought it down the stairs. Harry walked back into his room again and grabbed Hedwig in her cage. As he turned to leave, he realized that this was probably the last time he'd ever be in this room. He nodded to it, as if saying thank you, and closed the door behind him.

Harry marched down the stairs and placed Hedwig on top of his trunk. He turned to see if Petunia or Vernon were around so that he could at least tell them he was leaving for good. Harry noticed Petunia standing in the kitchen washing dishes. He walked into the room and looked at her for a minute before he said anything. She looked back.

"I, um, just wanted to let you know I was leaving," Harry said as he turned around. He noticed Vernon looking at him as if he had just won the lottery.

Aunt Petunia stopped Harry before he could take a step further. "Now, you take care of yourself. I know my sister would be so proud of you."

Harry left the room quickly—as he was puzzled over Petunia's odd behavior over the course of the last few days. She had been treating him as if he was her own.

When Harry was safely out the door and walking towards the car that Fred and George had, he turned around and took one last glance at the house. "Goodbye, Privet Drive."

He could not have sounded any happier.

When Harry arrived at the Burrow, Fred and George took Harry's things immediately into the house. When Harry walked into the house, it was like walking into a madhouse. Papers, bowls, plates, and food was scattered everywhere on the first floor. It was like Fleur had turned the Burrow into her wedding office. Harry looked around for the sign of people but found none.

"Ron, Hermione, and Ginny are outside near the woods doing whatever," Fred told Harry as if he could read his mind. "Mum and Dad are upstairs talking about Fleur…they probably got into some argument again," Fred rolled his eyes.

Harry's heart at skipped a beat when Fred had said Ginny's name. For the entire week Harry had been dreading the fact that coming to the Burrow meant that he would be seeing Ginny. He didn't know what to do about her.

It wasn't that Harry didn't like her or care about her—because he did—it was just that he did not want to see her getting hurt in the war. Suddenly, Harry began to worry. What was he going to do when he saw her? What was he going to say? And it was as if fate had a way of stepping in—because at that exact moment—Ginny walked through the door.

Harry froze.

Ginny froze.

They both looked at each other for a minute before Ginny said, "Hi, Harry."

Harry ruffled his hair awkwardly as he said, "Hi," in return.

Seconds later, Ron and Hermione walked into the house. Hermione ran over and gave Harry a hug, and Ron said hello a few minutes later.

Hermione sensed the silence between Harry and Ginny and quickly thought of a way to get Harry out of the sticky situation. "Harry, can I talk to you alone for a sec?" Hermione asked.

Harry nodded and walked out the front door. Hermione followed a few seconds later.

"Yeah?" Harry asked as he began to walk into the open field next to the house.

"Harry, what's the whole deal with Ginny? I mean, like, I understand what you said to her—but do you still have feelings for her?"

Harry didn't say anything. He had been afraid of this.

"I don't mean to make you feel bad or anything, it's just that she has been rather upset. She just cares about you so much—I don't know if you really realize how much she loves you. She wants to help as much as possible—and you are now not even including her in your life."

Harry looked up at Hermione and anger took over him, "Don't say that to me. Don't say I'm not including her. Hermione, you have no idea how hard this is for me. I care about her just as much as she cares about me. But we can't be together. Voldemort will go after her if we are together. If I had to go to her funeral, I would—I would die. If I was able to control everything that was going on, then we would be together. But life isn't like that for me, I can't put her in danger just to make me happy," Harry finished and looked at her. Harry couldn't remember the last time he had spoken so sternly to Hermione.

"You wouldn't just be making yourself, Harry. You would not be being selfish—she would do anything to be with you. She knows what being with you means. She's not stupid, Harry."

"Hermione, I know you're really trying to help right now, but you are just making things more complicated. If this is how Ginny feels, then she can talk to me herself," The instant Harry had said this he regretted it. Now he was going to have to talk to her one-on-one.

"Okay, fine. She'll be talking to you. Trust me."

And with that, Hermione turned and walked back into the house. Harry sat down on the ground underneath a tree. He had come to the Burrow for Bill and Fleur's wedding—for something happy. And now, it was just turning into another stressful event.


	2. Chapter 2

**_CHAPTER 2—The Wedding_**

Harry had enough on his plate with the horcruxes and all and he really did not need anything else. But, of course, he had to deal with the whole Ginny situation.

Harry stood up from under the tree that he had been sitting under while trying to work everything out. He felt so bad for what he was doing to Ginny…for what he was doing to himself.

As Harry began to walk towards the house, a familiar red-head came out of the house and started to make her way towards him. Harry froze. _Not now_, he thought.

Ginny's eyes were red and swollen—she had obviously been crying. Ginny's heart hurt—it burned—as she looked at him. She wish there was some way she could convey to him that she really was in danger either way. But, deep down, she knew that Harry wouldn't listen to it.

"Harry…sit," was about as much as she could get out at the moment. Ginny's voice was still shaky—her breathing uneven.

Harry didn't protest. He sat right back down. Ginny though, continued to stand. She took a deep breath before she opened her mouth to speak again.

"Harry…I don't even know where to begin. When you broke up with me…if I knew at the time that you would going on this journey…then I would have protested a lot more. I understand where you are coming from, that's why I didn't say much. But, I want to help. I don't want you to leave here without me…I want to be part of this, too." She looked at Harry for about a minute and then turned away. She looked out across the meadow and sighed.

It was Harry's turn to speak.

"Ginny…now _I_ don't even know where to begin," he let out a small chuckle. Ginny didn't seem impressed. "I'm sorry. But I don't want to go to your funeral. It's just not going to happen."

"Harry, I love you. And you of all people should know that love is special. It should mean something to you. I want to be with you. I _need_ to be with you."

"It doesn't mean shit to me. You loving me doesn't protect you from Voldemort. It doesn't make it any harder for him to kill you. If anything, it makes it easier."

"But…but…don't you love me too?" Her voice was extremely shaky. Tears were forming in her eyes.

By now Harry was standing. At this he turned around and put his head down.

"No," he hated lying to her. But he had to. It was the only way she was going to be safe.

Ginny looked at him. He was facing the other way. Before Ginny could really register what Harry had just said, she broke down. She turn around and ran towards the house, crying hysterically.

Harry rotated and looked at her running with her long, red-hair blowing behind her. He wondered if that was the last time they would ever speak and as the thought began to hit him—tears began to form in his eyes. _What have I done?_

The ability to walk was suddenly taken from Harry—it was as if he was paralyzed. He sat back down and just stared. He knew he had really screwed things up this time. But the more he thought about it, he realized that it was for the better. Ginny wouldn't be in danger this way…especially if she never spoke to him again.

"I'm sorry," he said aloud to himself before he got up and started heading back towards the house. He knew the second he walked in he would be bombarded by Ron and Hermione and probably the rest of the Weasley brothers. But he was ready.

Harry walked through the front door and realized that his predications were fairly accurate—Fred and George came running up to him.

"Harry, what happened? Ginny came into the house, like, screaming. She said it was you."

Harry shook his head. "I have to protect her. No one understands. I don't even really understand. All I know is that she's not safe if she is going out with me." Harry moved into the living room and sat down on a couch. He found it hard to believe that he had only been at the Burrow for 3 hours and already he was causing trouble. He let out a sigh.

Ron came down the stairs about 5 minutes later. He looked at Harry. It was Ron's turn to sigh.

"Harry, do you know how upset she is?" Ron asked.

"Yes."

"You told me you still loved her."

"Well, I lied," Harry hated lying to his best friend. He really did.

"Harry, I know what you're trying to do. I'm not _that_ stupid. You're just saying you don't love her so that she doesn't bug you about coming."

Harry stared at Ron.

"I tried to tell her that, but she said that you would never lie to her. You would never say something like that unless you meant it. Harry, you have to go talk to her."

"No," he said firmly.

"You're screwing this up for yourself, too. She's not going to take you back two years from now when all this time she'll have thought about how you don't love her."

Harry didn't say anything. He got up and walked up to the room he was sharing with Ron. On his way up, he passed Ginny's room. He could hear Hermione's soothing voice trying to calm her down, but her cries were too loud. His heart sunk as he heard Ginny's voice. This was so much harder than he thought it would be.

When Harry had finally made it up to Ron's room, he laid down on the bed and fell into a deep sleep. Harry dreamed of a life where there was no Voldemort. A life where his parents were still alive. A life where he had grown up with as much love as anyone. A life where he could be with Ginny.


End file.
